Defnition of a techie:
1. A person or persons who perform duties related to the running of technical aspects of theatrical and various other performance-oriented entertainment and who at times feel the need to distract performers by playing pranks during the running of the show thus taking the level of professionalism out of the craft and therefore earning the title "Techie".
2. Person skilled in one or more of the following aspects of a show: scenery, properties, lighting, sound, playing pranks, messing up. Works insanely long and unsafe hours. has a main food supply of caffeine and sugar, sometimes is lucky enough to be able to eat fast food during a 2-5 minute break...Only happens about once a week. Never makes mistakes that anyone can notice. Lives by the motto: Squeeze to fit, Paint to match
An actor without techies is a naked person standing in the dark trying to emote. A techie without actors is a person with marketable skills.
An old stage manager arrived at the Pearly Gates. As a reward for years of patience, discretion, and endeavour, St. Peter granted her a single wish.
"I've never seen a perfect blackout -- can that be arranged?" She asked.
St. Peter snapped his fingers, and the darkness descended. There was not a hint of spill from worklights or prompt corner. There was total silence, not a whisper, not a footstep, not a pin drop -- just complete silence and total darkness. It lasted 18 seconds.
When the lights came up again, St. Peter was gone and the Pearly Gates had been struck.
Q: How many Lighting Techs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, if it was working once, they know better than to mess with it.
Q: What is black and crispy and hangs from the grid?
A: An actor trying to change a light bulb?
You know you're a Techie when...
...you have a permanent mark above your ears from the headset.
...you wave at little kids from the spot booth.
...you prefer the light board over your girl/boy friend.
...You walk into your home and your parents ask who you are.
...you memorize gel color for fun.
...you are more concerned about the location of your adjustable crescent wrench than you are about your car keys.
...your parents memorize the stage phone number.
...you really believe that wearing all blacks makes you invisible.
...you dress your snowman in black. (We are definitely doing that next year)
...you use glow tape instead of night lights to find your way around your home at night.
...you can tie a bowline knot without having to tell the bunny story to do it.
...you start calling the Technical Director Dad. (RUSSEL!)